How to take yourself seriously
What do I mean when I say take yourself seriously? Well, you might guess that it has something to do with putting yourself first or not taking nonsense from anyone - and you'd be partially right. Taking yourself seriously in a healthy way has a number of elements that are good to build up your personal power, overall health and achieving your goals. On the other hand, having an over-inflated view of yourself is not only annoying for the rest of us but can also stifle your world view and affect your mental health. So as you can imagine, the key is balance.
In this post, I discuss what it means to take yourself seriously and the benefits of self mastery.
Know yourself
The first step to taking yourself seriously, is to actually know who are. As the sovereign king or queen of your own being, it only makes sense that you know the ins and outs of your self territory. What are your likes and values, passions and weaknesses? Knowing these will inform how on how to conduct yourself, what vocation to follow and how you spend your time, money and energy wisely. Getting to know yourself can be difficult, so here are some ways to understand yourself:
- 1. Be mindful of yourself
- Being mindful is the act of fully experiencing the present moment along with your thoughts, emotions, senses and surroundings. Taking time to account for how you feel currently can help you understand your reactions, thoughts and motives. You can improve your mindfulness through meditation or tai-chi.
- 2. Take a personality test
- Online personality tests are very useful to help you identify common traits that belong to your personality type. Knowing your personality can inform your strengths, weaknesses, relationships, parenting style and career path. My favourite tests are the 16 Personalities by Meyers-Briggs and DISC personality test.
- 3. Question yourself
- Self investigation is a great way to learn about oneself and to encourage good traits while removing those that are destructive. This can be done by asking yourself questions such as:
- What do I love doing? - - What are my biggest weaknesses?
- - What areas of my life are most important to me?
- What do I love doing?
Personal Sovereignty
Are you in charge of your whole self or do parts of you belong to others? It might seem obvious that you are in charge of yourself, but often times we live out programming and narratives that others have placed on us. Much of our identity comes from what family, school, religion, even government and social media have told us about ourselves.
A definition of sovereignty is: the absolute authority within an individual consciousness, social construct or territory. Just as an independent nation like South Africa has the authority to determine it's own laws, so has each person a freedom to determine who they are.
Think about the narratives others have placed on your identity. Are you comfortable with these narratives and do they reflect who you really are? If not, then you are within your power to align them and set boundaries around the people and situations that make you feel uncomfortable.
Take care of yourself holistically
The world has gotten pretty complex over the centuries. No wonder many people struggle to navigate the structures in place in order to survive and even thrive. This can take a toll on a person's body, mind and spirit and therefore it is of utmost importance to take care of these areas of our lives.
Mental health has particularly gained awareness and support over the past decade and rightly so, as the quality of your mind can determine the quality of your life.
Important aspects of mental health include emotional, psychological, social and cognitive well being.
It also goes without saying that your physical health also determines the quality of your life. So taking care of your body by being mindful of what you put into it (food, liquids, air quality) and whether you exercise it affects your energy, hormonal levels, clarity and resilience to stress.
Spiritual health can look different for different people and can be difficult to define. A couple aspects to consider about spiritual health are:
- a sense of purpose and meaning to life
- a sense of transcendental order to life and the universe
- a sense of connection to life, other people, nature and the cosmos.
As nebulous as these might sound, there actually are ways to enhance one's spiritual health as has been demonstrated by various cultures and faith traditions over the millennia. These practices can be variations of:
- meditation
- yoga or tai-chi
- prayer or affirmations
- communal gathering and singing
- acts of kindness and justice
Go for your goals
Lastly, taking yourself seriously also means taking your goals seriously. Here I'd like to broaden the term 'goals' to include your purpose and those things you'd like to achieve in life. Some examples of goals might be wanting to write a book, paying off an asset, starting a business or learning a new skill. This part of your life has to do with focus, discipline and action. The dreams we have can seem daunting at first and that's okay. We don't have to have the full picture mapped out at the beginning. What we can do is take one step closer each day in the direction of the goal.
- 1. Decide what you want
- What is it that you really want and why? Make a list of what you'd like to have or see in your life and why you want it. Then prioritise them to determine which mean more to you. At this point you can also start using visualisation and imagination to prime your subconscious mind to start looking for the opportunities, people and resources to get you where you want to be. This effect comes from the Reticular Activating System of the brain and it deserves a whole post on its own.
- 2. Set SMART goals
- Once you've decided on what you want, use the SMART method to practically turn your desires into reality. SMART goals are:
Specific - Clear and well defined
Measurable - Having criteria to measure progress
Achievable - Possible to achieve
Realistic - Within reach and relevant to your life
Timely - A clear timeline of when to start and complete a goal.
Specific - Clear and well defined
Measurable - Having criteria to measure progress
Achievable - Possible to achieve
Realistic - Within reach and relevant to your life
Timely - A clear timeline of when to start and complete a goal.
- 3. Build small habits
- We oftentimes underestimate the small habits we keep in our lives even though, over time, they create the biggest changes. According to James Clear, author of the international bestseller Atomic Habits, a 1% improvement daily can yield compound improvements of 37 times better each year! The key is to create an environment that helps sustain a desired behaviour. This is done using the 4 Laws of Behaviour Change:
1. Make it obvious
2. Make it attractive
3. Make it easy
4. Make it immediately satisfying - For example, if you find it difficult taking a supplement, you can put it in a place where you always drink water and where you can easily access it. The less barriers between you and your task, the better.
This strategy helps transform your lifestyle to reinforce habits and in turn help you become the person you want to be.
1. Make it obvious
2. Make it attractive
3. Make it easy
4. Make it immediately satisfying
This strategy helps transform your lifestyle to reinforce habits and in turn help you become the person you want to be.
Take Home Message
The purpose of this post is to bring to light the importance of taking yourself seriously. I hope you now have a sense of empowerment and the tools to become the best version of yourself. In the next post, we will look at the importance of NOT taking yourself seriously and how having a tempered view of yourself can bring joy and balance to life. Until then, seriously, take care of yourself.
